Seems like a monstrous contradiction having rage and angels in the same sentence doesn’t it? I’m going to try to accurately express what I’ve just lived through the past 6 days or so. I’ve done this dozens and dozens of times before, but this time I was fully present and acutely aware of each and every phase and step in this Process. And I feel tremendously free and “normal” because of it at the moment.
I’m talking about the type of energetic transformational “Lightwork” I personally do. What I’m designed for I suppose. Like I said, I’ve always done this as it comes naturally for me but that doesn’t mean I have a great time doing it, only that I can do it and do it pretty well.
About 6 days ago something old and unpleasant was suddenly back in my little space and reality again that hadn’t been there for a while. Something I’m very familiar with and totally ready to not have to deal with anymore. It was dark lower energies. It’s like having to go back into “Hell” yet again. You know it’s going to be painful, you know it’s going to exhaust you, you know it’s going to make you feel, look, sound and act like a violent, hateful, obsessive crazy person again, but you also know from past experience that it must be done. I can’t NOT do it.
So what happens from my perspective is that suddenly lower energies are back again and they are all I can see, feel, smell, sense, hear and it makes me full of rage now. Decades ago it caused intense fear and hate but now only rage and utter intolerance. Please understand that this isn’t an intellectual process but an almost cellular one. I couldn’t stop this in myself for anything and believe me I’ve tried. This is a Process and it has distinct phases and steps and must unfold as it does for total transformation to occur.
I usually psychically see lower energy entities in my house, it physically feels as if the lower pressure will kill me, and of course as is always the case, one or more lower energy and conscious humans comes out of the woodwork and are literally only a few feet away from me for far too long. I endure their noise, their stupidity, their lower energies, negative energy attachments, emotions and all the rest of it until I think I’m loosing it completely. Then the Process moves to the next phase or step. That step is where I physically, emotionally and mentally absorbed all the lower energies I can cope with and then transmute them all IN my own physical body.
Again, this is NOT a planned conscious intellectually intended situation. There is nothing noble about any of this believe me! I’m raging and wanting to bash stupid skulls at this point because it’s IN me. I do not light incense, hold crystals, open chakras or call in higher beings etc. I’m trying to not go to jail for doing something bad to someone. 🙄 It just happens in me, through me. Currently this phase only takes a few hours, where 4, 6, 8 years ago it took months and was a constant situation for years. That’s how much progress and transmuting has been accomplished already.
The way I can tell that I’ve reached the nitty-gritty phase of internal transmuting is that I instantly become exhausted and start to get those good old “ascension flu symptoms”. I get the chills, aches, pains in my bones and joints, headache and I want to go to bed and sleep it off. When it’s really intense I do finally fall asleep for a few minutes here and there. I come in and go out in other words. It’s not a nap or deep sleep but that sort of sleeping you do when you’re very sick. It’s a strange state where the lower energies get burned, neutralized and transmuted inside my body and being.
Today this stage only took a few hours. When I woke up and walked through the house late this afternoon I stepped outside to feel the energies and everything that had been so bad for the past 6 days, intensely horrible dark and heavy, is totally gone now. It’s like the neighborhood has been energetically neutralized and is free-flowing and crystal clear again. Needless to say, I feel profoundly relieved and full of peace again because there is NO darkness here, at the moment. This is how the Process works for me, through me, in me and all around me. And, it will happen again and again and again until there’s no more need for me to go through it anymore. Thankfully it’s coming in, transmuting and ending much faster than ever before.
November 16, 2007
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