Certain Starseed/Wanderer Contracts

blue soul comets

“So many things seem to be happening. I will just describe a few. I have had this extreme awareness and knowing of all the “negative” aspects in my personality, in my being that need to be worked on. All that yucky dark stuff that usually make me cringe and want to hide. My usual reaction to the moments when i am digging deep, I mean deep inside myself, where most of us do not want to go, is to stop thinking about it, to dig my head in the sand because I have always struggled with self-worth. I have always felt like I was not good enough. I have almost been trained to hate myself. And to think about the “dark aspects” always made me depressed and loath myself. made me feel like a piece of shit if you will. I have always struggled with anxiety and depression. (raised in an extremely religious southern baptist household which I feel I could write a whole book on the ass backwardness of organized religion but I digress)

The other lifelong struggle has been the negative attacks from the dark humans. At school, in the work place, even friends have been down right nasty in the past. A best friend of mine who for almost 10 years we were together almost everyday (who is one of us she just does not know it yet) has witnessed and has been just as perplexed as I as to why I so frequently get attacked by people, usually male. In my life it made me feel as though something was inherently wrong with me. Even though I have always known I have a big heart and have so much love to give and that I was here for a purpose. I love like crazy. I don’t have a mean bone in my body yet I sometimes am treated like dirt by people. My spirit guides have shown me recently that all the attacks, anxiety, depression, physical and sexual abuse have been Team Dark trying to derail me. Their plan was to keep me so consumed with fear and confusion over what was “wrong” with me and what I did to deserve all the awful things done to me. I am very sensitive and am an empath so living in this world with these people and energies has been freaking awful. Well those little fuckers may have won that battle but they sure as heck are not winning the war! On some level for quite some time it worked for a long time but no more! I have spent the last 30 years trying to figure out what was wrong with me. Why did I feel so different. Why did I feel like an alien on this planet? So now when facing these dark aspects of myself there has been a major shift. In the last few days instead of hating myself I shine the dark corners with love and forgiveness. And boy does it feel good…

faye1234″

Because faye1234’s Comment question was so important and one that most Starseeds/Wanderers/Lightworkers can completely relate to, I wanted to respond to it in an article instead of getting buried in Comments. Thank you faye1234.   ❤

EVERY STARSEED’S FIRST THOUGHT TYPICALLY IS: “IT MUST JUST BE ME, RIGHT?”

Because my natal Sun is in Capricorn and in Capricorn’s natural 10th House, for decades I believed that my downright insane and miserable patriarchal encounters, head-butting fights, and those epic David vs. Goliath type battles with patriarchal persons in positions of power and/or authority were solely due to my Capricorn 10th House Sun and a lot of it was. In addition, my natal Saturn—ruler of my Capricorn Sun—is in Libra (along with three other planets including the ruler of my ASC) and this Libra stellium only amplified my always feeling at odds with the “normal” patriarchal masses and what to me have always been their negative and seriously crazy belief systems, ways and actions.

These lifelong tensions and squirmy feelings I’ve always had were tremendously amplified whenever I had to interact with (typically) older males in positions of “power” and “authority” in our society; bosses, police, judges, lawyers, doctors etc. (After the 1960s revolutionary battles with “the establishment”, certain females were allowed to publicly wield more patriarchal power too and they became power-hungry, ego-based, left-brained imbalanced patriarchal humans we Starseeds/Wanderers/Lightworkers/Indigos also had to navigate. There were no equal rights for women, there was join the patriarchal Boys Club because that’s all that existed. I’ll spare you my numerous unpleasant and oftentimes insane and ridiculous battles, attacks and showdowns I’ve experienced with the patriarchy during my sixty years on Earth and get into the WHY of it. Natal placements plus this second ingredient are intimately connected and why I’ve repeatedly experienced extreme negative battles and attacks from so many humans—mostly males but plenty of patriarchal entrenched females too—physically manifesting Team Dark’s alien agendas in this dimension and world.

This other energetic ingredient is being a Starseed. A Starseed with a Soul Mission and hardwired ability to transmute, integrate, resolve and transcend density, duality and negativity and return those energies to a higher frequency state of energetic neutrality or “unity” while in physicality. Needless to say this is not an easy, safe or pleasant job to do while within a negative polarized physical world reality, and most Starseeds (and “Volunteers”, Forerunners, Wayshowers, Pathpavers etc.) with this particular Soul Mission and ability (“Polarity Integrator” as Lisa Renee has called them) have had more than our fair share of negative, cruel and outrageous attacks and battles with the physical human patriarchy.

So yes, the answer to our first thought that it must be me is correct, but for different reasons than you and I believed for far too long. It is just me, just you, just us, because we Starseeds, Forerunners, Wayshowers are here now doing what we’re so good at doing with and to Duality energies. The real difficulty has always been that most Starseeds/Forerunners/Wayshowers typically don’t consciously remember that they Volunteered to incarnate on physical Earth now and why. A rare handful do remember from childhood that they intentionally came to Earth from elsewhere, whereas far more begin remembering later in adulthood. Other Starseeds, and even some Indigos, are triggered by their Higher Selves to begin consciously remembering their larger and more complex identity and Soul Mission(s) at specific times due to a multitude of personal, astrological, cosmic, multidimensional and evolutionary Ascension Process reasons.

But before a Starseed begins consciously remembering their greater identities and/or current physical plane Soul Mission, they typically believe the negative lies and BS that all the negativity, hostility, disrespect, violence, physical and etheric attacks, endless supply of abnormally imbalanced humans littering their earthly lifelong Path are somehow all their fault! They typically and automatically wonder what terrible thing(s) THEY must have done somewhere to create the constant negativity, darkness and cruel attacks from other humans during this lifetime. If you’ve bought into the “sin” and “guilt” or “karma” beliefs because you don’t remember your greater identity and Soul Contracts yet, then you assume that must be the reason for the endless negativity you attract from both living humans plus other-dimensional Beings, Aliens, Entities etc.

You, me, each of us typically runs these negative experiences through our own ego filters and naturally assume it is us, when in fact it is us, but it is only because we’re on Earth now to transmute and transcend the negativity in 3D and 4D primarily and NOT BECAUSE WE’VE DONE ANYTHING WRONG. My dearest fellow Starseeds/Forerunners/Wayshowers/Indigos, we naturally and automatically attract the negativity, insanity and imbalanced seen and unseen populations because we carry more Light here and the Dark instantly sees and recognizes us long before we ever recognize them! That unfortunate truth is simply part of our many different learning curves we must Master while here in 3D. We take plenty of beatings before we put two-and-two together, but once we finally do connect the inter-dimensional energy dots of our larger existence, identity and Soul Missions, we then move through our individual Soul Missions much easier, faster and with far less personal damages and wounds than before.

The farther along we individually go with transmuting polarized energies through our bodies and beings, the more we remember and embody High Heart or Unity or Triality Consciousness which makes our Work, our “jobs”, our Soul Missions here much easier, faster, less painful and polarized. We learn to reach and maintain emotional neutrality which is also greater and higher conscious awareness neutrality, with more and more things, people, situations, events, attacks and all the rest of it. We’re learning or have learned and mastered being and remaining within that third higher frequency space that exists vibrationally beyond (let’s say above for ease of communication) Duality which means we have an easier time NOT being affected or influenced by any physical human, nonphysical Being/Alien/Entity, or trans-dimensional events caused by either of them whether directed at us individually or not. It just is what it is and we simply do what we do with less and less drama, pain, negativity and time spent in those miserable battles and attacks. From my Denise perspective it took me far too long to reach the edges of this state of being and working of my earthly Soul Mission but there it is and what do I know about it all anyway?  😉

REMEMBER THE PRINCESS & THE PEA SYNDROME?

Starseeds/Indigos/Lightworkers are typically ultra-sensitives who FEEL things, people, events, locations, actions, thoughts, thought-forms, emotional energies, negativity, polarity etc. much more intensely than “normal” people do. Added to this is something I’ve become increasingly aware of over the past intense thirteen Ascension years (1999–2012) which is that the more polarized and dark or negative energies I’ve gotten rid of (transmuted and therefore removed), the less of it it now takes to make me feel like ultra crap! Hence, the Princess & the Pea business. This is another reason why our own inner dark, unresolved issues and energies—PLUS everyone else’s—feels so much larger and exaggerated to us than it actually is. The more Light there is, the more it highlights the Dark no matter how small it may now be. Don’t take it personally, don’t go into guilt over it, don’t obsess or fixate on it, remain emotionally neutral about it all and just do what you’ve been doing all along which is integrate it, transmute it, and transcend it back into unified Neutrality.

When we feel the dark or negative now it’s painful in new ways because it’s so profoundly amplified and highlighted by the abundant Light Energies now present. The dark thing only needs to be something small and simple now and yet it feels like a massive boulder under my twenty mattresses! “Consciousness” is rapidly becoming a whole-body and whole-being awareness instead of the old left brained linear only thought process of polarized 3D. We are rapidly becoming increasingly aware of more things but in very new ways which means we’re having to let go of even more and learn many new ways of perception during these last six months of 2012.

“WHY DID I FEEL LIKE AN ALIEN ON THIS PLANET?” 

Because you are one dearest. ❤ Most of us Starseeds/Wanderers/Lightworkers are the positive ETs many people talk about that they believe will come to Earth and fix things! Surprise, but we’re already here and have been for decades, working behind the scenes, doing what we do for humanity and the Ascension timeline. I know that huge self-worth issues are common among the Groups or Waves of Starseeds/Wanderers (and Indigos) but you’ve all got to realize that you’re not here on Earth now to be like the human masses. Not remotely, so don’t use those negative and distorted Alien patriarchal human standards to measure yourself against for any reason. I know how hard and painful that is too but you’ve got to ignore those mind control delusions and distortions and be what you are and do what you do. And I know so many of you have done it repeatedly even when you didn’t know you were.

Denise

July 10, 2012

copyright dk blue Copyright © Denise Le Fay & TRANSITIONS, 2012. All Rights Reserved. You may copy and distribute this article so long as you don’t alter it in any way, the content remains complete, credit is given to the author and this URL https://deniselefay.wordpress.com and Copyright Notice is included.

Dream About Ancient Gods & Goddesses Awakening

I had an important Ascension-related dream in 1985 that spoke symbolic volumes about what was coming for myself and many others. Of course I didn’t know all that at the time however. Here’s my dream:

embossed diamonds

This dream was set in current time (which was then 1998) and I was with a small group of other people I didn’t know. We’d all headed for the Great Pyramid in Egypt because something was going to happen soon. Those of us who’d made it there were supposed to be there for this mysterious event. We didn’t know what it was or what was going to happen, only that we had to be there when it did!

So there we were, this small group of strangers from around the planet, standing barefoot in the warm sand near the Great Pyramid in current day Egypt wondering what exactly was up. We checked each other out and sensed that something very special and positive was going to happen soon. After waiting there for a while, some local Egyptian males dressed in traditional white Galabeyas came popping out from around the corner of the massive Pyramid stones. (I’ve never been to Egypt physically in this life.) They were slowly and laboriously pushing, rolling out multiple huge metal scaffolds into an open area for us to easily view.

We silently watched the Egyptian men push these six or seven huge metal scaffolds out in front of us and a few yards from the Great Pyramid. On top of each one of these scaffolds were two, three, or four large statues of ancient Gods and Goddesses (not only ancient Egyptian ones) laying on their sides. The Egyptian men worked fast maneuvering the scaffolds into place and quickly left the area again, leaving us bewildered foreigners staring up at the numerous massive ancient statues.

We glanced questioningly at each other, then back up at the massive ancient statues of Gods and Goddesses when suddenly the sky overhead started to change. Clouds suddenly blew in and thunderclaps shook the ground around us. The tension was building and we all wondered what in the world was going to happen at the base of the Great Pyramid. What high drama! Suddenly I knew it was the last day of 1999 and this was the activation of something very big and incredibly important for everyone everywhere.

In the next second the massive statues on top of the scaffolds began to wake up and slowly come to life! Those of us on the ground below them watching this strangeness unfold became very excited and happy and we all started applauding. Slowly and carefully these sacred ancients became animated, and as they did, the outer statue crust material around them all fell off, turning to dust on the Egyptian sand below. We small humans watched the giant statues come to life through this amazing Process, with great excitement and fascination. Eventually these ancient Gods and Goddesses fully woke and came down from the tall metal scaffolds each one had been on.

It was at that moment that those of us who had been watching this event suddenly realized that we were the ancient Gods and Goddesses who’d awakened and were the only ones actually standing there!

End of dream.

embossed diamonds

Another very potent, and at the time difficult personal experience that started around 1995 for me was, some of my dearly beloved Star Family from Orion, Sirius, and the Pleiades leaving me! I’d never mentioned this before because I didn’t want to worry or frighten anyone who was still having an ongoing, long-term, love affair co-worker partnership with some of their own higher dimensional Stellar Family and Friends.

What I mean is that these three much-loved Starbeing kinsfolk who’d been telepathically, energetically and clairvoyantly connected to me in this life and timeline from the age of three that I’ve consciously remembered – and also in a “past” life in 12,600 b.c. Egypt that directly connected to this current life – were in the process of slowly retreating from me at the start of my physical, biological Ascension Process.

These three and a few others have always been nearby energetically so I could call on them for further insights, guidance or suggestions whenever I needed. This was normal to me all of my life, but, as the start of my physical biological Ascension Process neared (it activated fully on the physical level February 1, 1999), these beloved Starbeing Family I’d known for so very long began to retreat.

After paying attention to this retreating for about six months I finally telepathically called on them to explain why they were slowly backing away from me energetically. As always they were instantly there and telepathed their response saying that the time had arrived where they had to leave me on my own to live through this very important Process that was coming in about two years. At that time around 1996, and later in February 1999 and for a few years after that, I didn’t consciously know about the coming Ascension Process.

They told me that nothing would ever cause them to intervene in any way with my going through this coming Process. They said I had to go through it on my own and without any support or guidance. It would ruin everything if they did and they would never interfere with a soul’s growth or mission, such as the one I was preparing to begin.

And so my three primary Starbeing Family and support team retreated energetically until I could no longer feel or clarivoyantly See them. By the time my Ascension Process began in February 1999, they were long gone. I love them even more however for leaving me to go through all that I did—and still am all these difficult years later—without them nearby to call on for help or guidance.

At critical points in our spiritual growth and soul work such as the current Ascension Process, we are left on our own for the purpose of triggering us to become more ourselves. I now have more of myself and Higher Self as my “guides” and “teachers” that I access when I desire more information/Light about something. Gods and Goddesses waking up and walking the new higher frequency ascended Earth as new higher Beings of Light — and they are you and me.

I know this is accurate because I’ve been living it for many years and my three beloved higher dimensional Starbeing consultants have indeed moved on also. I’ve seen this retreating of some very ancient higher dimensional Starbeings before thousands of years ago in ancient Egypt. Evolutionary Stairsteps for all of us in all of the different dimensions. I’ve also seen that some of us Starseeds who’ve embodied the Ascension Process and anchored the new blueprints for the next Great Cycle of learning will become the new “guides” and new spiritual “teachers” to others, much as my three Starbeing Family were to me. Everyone evolves into new levels and roles at these grand transitions.

As a Starseed there were so many times in this life where the Homesickness I felt was so great and so painful emotionally I didn’t think I’d be able to do what I volunteered to incarnate now to do, but I have, and so have many of you reading this. We’ve all done a remarkable job no matter where we’ve each been stationed during this Universal Ascension Process.

Denise

April 23, 2008

Copyright © Denise Le Fay & TRANSITIONS, 2008. All Rights Reserved. You may share this article so long as you don’t alter it in any way, the content remains complete, credit is given to the author, and this URL https://deniselefay.blog and Copyright Notice is included.