letting go of

What A Winter! (2012)

Denise Le Fay 65 Comments

WINTER RECAP IN PREPARATION FOR THE 2012 SPRING EQUINOX

But first, some whining…

On January 1, 2012 I felt and was affected by another upsurge and big push from Team Dark (the non-physical, non-human Beings and their human puppets). It was mildly depressing and I wasn’t prepared for it, which I should have been, but because we’re so close now my heart gaze is entirely fixed on the finish line and humanity evolving beyond the vibrational reach and influence of Team Dark. I realize I may occasionally jump the gun with certain old familiar polarized 3D issues and belief systems such as the controlled need for money, the controlled need for gasoline, war etc., but this is because I know what’s possible and coming and want all of us to be there sooner rather than later. To reach the next rung on the ladder, you’ve got to be willing to release your grasp on the one you’re currently holding on to.

There we were in the long-awaited year of 2012 finally and all I could feel, again, was the tenacity and determination of Team Dark trying to grab more people and create more fear/war/violence/murder etc. in this world. Needless to say I was a bit bummed from the start of January 2012 as I felt these old dark dudes—human and otherwise—working hard to regain power, energy, control and more of humanities energies and consciousness.

On a personal note I’ve had a whole slew of physical world things, issues, situations that I’ve had to take care of, such as getting my taxes done and numerous other similar old 3D things that I’ve never enjoyed having to do. Since the start of 2012, I’ve spent more time doing these types of old 3D things, making changes, fixing certain things, replacing things that suddenly broke and so on than I have writing articles! I’ve had busy times like this in the past but nothing to this degree. It seems there’s plenty of changes happening on multiple levels and dimensions now and all with a great big rush and push before the spring Equinox arrives on March 19, 2012.

Despite these unexpected intrusions into my life, time, focus and energy by these old 3D situations and necessities, I’ve had a couple of interesting experiences that have reinforced my sense of being assisted by a small group of higher dimensional Unseens. I haven’t sensed Them in my life a long time so this has been a real pleasure feeling Them around me and assisting me once again.

Once in January and again in February 2012, I had some important legal and money-related old 3D type things come up that I had to take care of. In both cases I made a mistake with something I didn’t even know existed and would have had a heck of a time trying to fix or redo both situations and probably would have been fined for my blunder. To prevent this added mess, distraction and interactions with the old 3D systems I’m not and never have been fond of, some of these Unseens literally put things ON HOLD for me so that other things would happen which would prevent those future problems, fines and redo’s.

I’ve experienced the Unseens helping me like this in decades past, but it was usually an isolated event that didn’t affect a lot of other people. In the January situation this intervention assistance by the Unseens did affect a large group of people so I was even more saddened by my mistake, but who knows how that delay actually affected each of them. But, the Universe had my back and literally put things ON HOLD for 24 hours which was exactly enough time for that other thing to happen that I didn’t even know existed which prevented future problems and fines for me. Sorry for being vague with the details but I’m sure you understand the overall gist of these events and why they’re happening to many of us now. It’s get things in order time once again if that’s what you/me need to do now.

So the January potential confusion and mistake was fairly easily avoided thanks to the Unseens literally making computers and printers stop work which forced a stop on everything for everyone for a week. This was done so that something would arrive in the mail the next day for me which I very much-needed to take back with me a week later when this group event was rescheduled…due to the computers and printers mysteriously suddenly not working that first day. Thank you Unseens for having my back and covering my butt with this one because I had no idea about any of those other 3D legal issues and paperwork etc.

The second Unseens intervention to prevent another potential Denise blunder happened in February. Gads I’ve missed these Unseens working away in the background of my life helping me to do what I’m here now to do!

In February I needed to make some changes to my money and where it goes etc., so I did the required paperwork for this change and then waited for the physical changes to manifest. Problem was that I missed them when they arrived because I didn’t recognize them! I suspect it was a matter of more ascension-related brain fog plus those heavy-duty X-class solar energies hammering my head/brain/DNA, plus those increasing gaps between the old 3D linear time and awareness and the growing 5D unity consciousness and functioning in the “Now Moment”. More embarrassment and confusions but again the Unseens had my back and did their best to help me see what I wasn’t seeing that was actually right in front of me physically all along. Oh boy, I see a book-title like…How To Ascend & Balance Your Checkbook At The Same Time. 

So, there I am on the phone calling someone to try to find out why my money isn’t where it’s supposed to be. I’ve called this number before with other questions and there was always a person on the other end immediately. Not so this time. Again I was put ON HOLD on the phone for ten minutes or so. While ON HOLD waiting the Unseens kept pulling my eyes to one sentence on a paper I had in front of me specifically for this phone call. Finally I saw the sentence and realized that what I was waiting for hadn’t happened yet and wouldn’t for another couple of months. Oops. Next the Unseens directed me to turn over another paper I had in front of me so I’d see one sentence on it which would tell me everything I needed to know about why my money wasn’t were I expected it to be and when it probably would be and so on. As soon as I saw that all the little pieces fell into place in my awareness and I immediately hung up the phone and thanked the Unseens for preventing me from further self-created confusions and embarrassments.

And last night and this morning there’s suddenly been a couple other issues pop in that need a small portion of my time and energy at this point. Where this goes, if it even does, will unfold in time or just fall off my radar altogether. My point is that there now seems to be plenty of sudden and unexpected (sounds like Uranus doesn’t it?) events and/or potential events and happenings manifesting after years of being locked-down into what I/you/us have been doing for many years or decades even via the Ascension Process.

MORAL OF THE STORY IS…

It’s getting a bit dicey now and then maneuvering through old 3D events in a world and reality with consciousness that’s shifting so dramatically into something entirely different. This is like years ago during the worst of the worst of my heavy, dense, dark transmuting and the resultant ascension symptoms. When I’d leave the house to grocery shop I’d always stop myself first and look down to make sure I had pants on and hadn’t forgotten to fully dress myself before I got in the car! Seriously, it was that bad back then, and in January and February 2012 I’ve had a couple of potential 3D (3D as in legal, money, banking, taxes type) blunders of equal magnitude due to my expanding awareness and jumping back and forth between linear time and non-linear or “Now Moment” time, awareness, and being and learning how to not screw these types of things up! I’m starting to suspect that we’ve been assigned a special Team of Unseens just to cover our butts and have our backs during this major transition!

“CAN’T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG?” NOT IF YOU EXPECT ME TO CHANGE!

Another event happened the other day when my neighbor whose a self-absorbed, unaware patriarchal jerk was on his cell phone outside where he and the wife live every minute it’s warm outside. Problem is that our houses are like twenty feet apart and he aligns with my bedroom window so I hear and see him/them despite my having spent a few hundred dollars putting up privacy panels to keep him out of my bedroom at night.

I heard him outside my bedroom window on his phone telling someone that his two (adult) sons with their two dogs and two mates were arriving from out-of-state in a couple of hours. Because I endured this last year, plus daily intoxicated Happy Hour spent outdoors under my window for a year plus sunbathing, plus dogs pooping and peeing on my things outside and getting attitude from him/husband/Daddy/patriarchy when I went out to try to shoo his son’s dogs away from shitting and pissing on my things…I was NOT happy about having to live through all this crap again for three weeks…and during the spring Equinox no less. See the pattern unfolding with these issues and energies? My guess is that many of you reading this can totally relate.

Suddenly it was decision time for me to figure out what to do or not do with this man. I realized I only had a tiny window to confront him (if that’s what I was going to do) about all the things he’s been doing for over a year and getting ready to do a lot more of as soon as his adult kids arrived. I realize that he’d been planning to have loud outdoor just add alcohol family fun get-together next to my bedroom window because that’s what HE LIKES and I either had to suck it up and let it go, or, quickly confront him about it all and go from there. Now I’d rather have teeth pulled than have a face to face confrontation with a patriarchal, imbalanced egoic numb-nuts who thinks independent, Light infused females like me should be burned at the stake, or worse. However, and after all I’ve been through in this life not to mention just the past thirteen years, I will eventually confront whoever it is that’s trying to push me out of existence either through their own self-absorbed stupidity and mega ego etc. or (and/or) whose intentionally being manipulated by Team Dark to get at me and mine. [See A Lightworker’s Mission: The Journey Through Polarity Resolution]

After doing brutally honest light speed discernment and peeking into the near future in an attempt to see if my future confrontational actions make this co-existing situation better or worse, I sensed I needed to confront him immediately before his wife, in-laws, sons and their girlfriends dogs and crew arrived in what could have been minutes. Long story short, I go outside and confront him but did so honestly and fairly saying my peace and suggested that he also tries to compromise as I have…and of course he attacks me, insults me, projects onto me, dodges responsibility, blames me, and flat-out lies about everything and I knew he would because he isn’t capable of anything else yet.

He did all those things people do who refuse to take any responsibility for their actions. In mid confrontation his cell phone rings and he can’t answer it fast enough to escape me and what’s happening and immediately starts telling his daughter on the other end what a horrible neighbor I am and what an unhappy life I have and how I only want to bother the neighbors etc. I’m standing three feet in front of him as he’s saying all this to her. He simply would not even attempt to have an honest adult conversation with me. There’s more BS and insanity of course but you get the drift of how this played out between us at that moment. I so need to move to a more secluded location and let these types of people do what they do while I do what I do…

After writing this article I received an email of Lisa Renee’s March 2102 article entitled “How Much Are You Willing to Know” and I had to smile to myself. There was a recapitulation of so much of what I’ve been going through for many months and why. I’ve known why for most of my life, but it’s always helpful and comforting hearing certain information like it from another about these extreme situations and difficulties we Starseeds/Lightworkers/Indigo are having because of them—but also those unaware humans that are resisting spiritual growth, evolution and change of any kind.

My situation and question however is still, how do I co-exist with other people such as these neighbors when the gap between our consciousness and everything else is what it is? I don’t want to suffer anymore because of this housing/living situation and am doing what I can to be able to sell/buy/move to a more private rural place where I won’t be assailed by people like this and they won’t have to endure my energies directly either. I’ve been excruciatingly aware of what a miserable situation this has been for me and many of you too, not only during these past 25 ascension years, but our whole Starseed lives. There are many more questions to cover about this situation and how we (by we I mean Starseeds/Lightworkers/Indigos etc.) can live safely and comfortably during this transition while the other humans go through what they are but at a level that’s suited for them. I know that once I’m fully there this won’t be an issue, but until then, like you I’ve got to co-exist with people who haven’t a clue about reality, energies, consciousness, other-dimensional Beings and their agendas, what’s going on now, and many of them do not even want to know!

Thanks for wading through this weird and different article and I hope you too are getting ready for the coming 2012 Spring Equinox energies and the changes they will bring for all.

Denise

March 10, 2012

Copyright © Denise Le Fay and TRANSITIONS, 2012-2013. All Rights Reserved. 

Transmuting More Layers

Denise Le Fay 20 Comments

LAYERING

It’s always amused me how many people believe they’ve transmuted everything within themselves because they had a rough few days or weeks! It takes a whole lot more than just a few days, weeks or months to peel away the numerous layers of accumulated stuff from having involuted into physicality. Sorry but the evolutionary Ascension Process isn’t something that can be accomplished over a  weekend!

REMOVING THE LAYERS, PIECE BY PIECE

In the mid-1980’s a male friend shared an unusual dream he’d recently had. I thought his dream was very insightful for the mid-1980’s, and was impressed by its clear-cut symbolism. His dream consisted of him struggling to climb up a huge steep mountain while dragging along all of his prized possessions in heavy suitcases. The farther up this mountain he climbed, the heavier his many suitcases became, making it increasingly difficult and dangerous to keep trying to drag them up the steep and rocky terrain.

Once he’d reached the halfway point up this huge mountain, he knew he wouldn’t make it if he did not LET GO OF his many suitcases that contained his hard-earned and much-loved possessions. And so, after tremendous physical struggling and painful emotional deliberation over his precarious situation, he decided it would be worth it to release his many suitcases containing his prized possessions and continue climbing that mountain free of them all. If nothing else, just putting the suitcases down would make the rest of his treacherous journey up the mountain that much easier and safer he decided.

I so loved and respected that man in those short fifteen minutes it took him to relay his spiritual dream message. What a profound truth his dream was and is for so many of us decades later, crawling, exhausted and bloody up that steep mountain, many still clutching one or more of their increasingly heavy suitcases containing precious personal 3D belongings.

MASTER IT, RELEASE IT AND MOVE ON

Belly Dance with veil

         (Denise Le Fay 1991)

One of my passions in my earlier Denise life—my life prior to the biological start of the Ascension Process—was Belly Dancing. I spent years mastering the dance steps and intricate body isolationss, the wondrous joy of spinning well, the foreign music and rhythms, mastering zill playing (finger cymbals), designing and making my own costumes and lastly, the fine art of performing and eventually performing well. (The photo above is me from a very long time ago. Time has marched on, and on…)

After nearly twenty years of doing this and loving all aspects of it, once I had mastered all the physical, emotional, mental, psychological and energy manipulation aspects of Belly Dance and performing, within a few short months I needed to retire completely at the ripe old age of thirty-nine (the famed Uranus Opposition)! There would be no lengthy phase of basking in the ease and comfort of mastering performing Belly Dance or anything else. I had achieved what I’d set out to do, had learned all I needed to from it on multiple levels and it was simply time for me to set those much-loved suitcases down, full of colorful exotic goodies and continue climbing the Ascension Mountain.

RELEASING MORE SUITCASES

What’s that old  Piscean Age religious line…? “…it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of god…”

In mid-July 2010 I was suddenly lam-blasted by the necessity of releasing another of my “personal suitcases”. This particular suitcase contained my original passion and earlier Lightworker Service work through TRANSITIONS. In much the same way as my Belly Dancing career (and others), I’d reached the point where I had to let go of how I’ve interacted with TRANSITIONS and why. Once again I’d reached another level of Retirement from an old way of being, of Lightworker Serving, and of intense focus and creativity. Literally overnight in mid-July 2010, I went from TRANSITIONS being my primary place of Service, creativity and passion to zero interest and no one was more surprised by this than me.

Because I still had some personal issues, energies, emotions, Phase One and Phase Two habits and past Service Work patterns stuffed inside my ancient First Wave Lightworker Pathpaver suitcase, I’d taken far more care of it than I had of my physical body and that had to end now.

I’ve known since early 2006, that this day was coming for me (what’s happening in summer 2010 to many of us) and that there always comes a point where I (you, each of us) must yet again let go of and release some particular suitcase(s)  to continue climbing up the evolutionary ascension mountain. More accurately at this point, to die some more and pass through that minuscule eye of the needle portal to the Other Side totally 3D baggage-free.

This suitcase contained my scant remaining Phase One and Phase Two ascension survival  items, a couple personal comfort goodies, and a few old habits that at this point I desperately needed to offload. I simply could not do this however until I was triggered to do so, and I was triggered in a sudden and dramatic you’ve-got-no-more-choices-about-this type of Uranian way in mid-July 2010.

Now, midway through August 2010, I’m still adjusting physically to having dropped this particular suitcase like it was toxic, which it had become, and as I said in an earlier post, come fall 2010 I know I (and some of you) will begin the very first stages of re-learning how to be and create consciously as suitcase-less beings.

HOW MANY TIMES CAN A GUY DIE IN ONE LIFE ANYWAY?!

Obviously, plenty of times which brings us back to the seemingly endless un-layering, transmuting and then offloading stair step (mountain climbing) process that ascension is. I’ve said this before but it took some serious Multi-D doin’ and plannin’ to get our  high frequency Light selves down enough vibrationally to fit in tiny, dense, physical container bodies within a dense, polarized physical 3D world. Once here we immediately began collecting plenty of suitcases and stuffed each of them full of our fabulous and colorful travel souvenirs because that’s what it’s been about in pre-ascension 3D physicality; collecting precious soul souvenirs from all the lives, timelines and countries you’ve lived, created, learned from and died within.

But, as it is now with the ascension/compressed evolutionary/Age change process, we do this process in reverse. We must now be baggage-free and clear enough that nothing gets snagged and caught on us as it flows past or as we flow past it. Wheat from the chaff. We must be suitcase-free on all levels, even the earlier and familiar Phase One and Phase Two Lightworker/Path Paver/Wayshower/Starseed levels. Once we’ve reached this new state (lets call it Phase Three for now), we will finally be ready on all levels to be the 5D conscious creators and Aquarian group co-creators of our ascended new earth world.

WHERE IS THE MOST IMPORTANT POINT IN A NATAL CHART?

Thirty-six years ago I asked my elder esoteric Astrology teacher where the most important point or area was in my astrological birth chart. Without skipping a beat he swiftly pointed his index finger at the very center point of my natal chart—where there was NOTHING—and tapped it in Master Yoda-like fashion. I looked at him and did the typically neophyte reaction and nodded in agreement—because I really did understand—but nonetheless asked him again where the most important point in my natal chart was! He looked me in the eye and gently shook his head and smiled then pointed out one particular planet and house in my natal chart.

Point is and always has been that, in the end, the most important point is in the center where there seems to be NO-THING. No precious travel souvenirs, not even any suitcases, just the reduced, refined, purified, integrated and greatly enhanced YOU. Once we have nothing left in us but calm, honest unattached contentment we’ll have access to it all and most likely won’t give a damn one way or the other! Ha, Mastery and Conscious Creating anew draws near.

Denise Le Fay

August 19, 2010

Copyright Denise Le Fay & TRANSITIONS, 2010. All Rights Reserved. You may copy and redistribute this material so long as you do not alter it in any way, the content remains complete, credit is given to the author and this URL https://deniselefay.wordpress.com and copyright notice are included.

Deep & Unending Exhaustion

Denise Le Fay 3 Comments

There are  far more people today experiencing the sort of deep body, mind, and soul exhaustion that other Lightworkers were feeling many years ago. The reason for this profound level of nearly constant utter physical, mental, and emotional exhaustion is many-fold. It has nothing to do with age, sex, how healthy or unhealthy you believe yourself to be at the moment or anything else. It has to do with tremendous and constant energy transmuting and transforming and the ongoing adjustments and re-adjustments because of it all. It has to do with dying while staying in your physical body, repeatedly and layer-by-layer. It has to do with day AND night while asleep and out of your body, still being worked on, transmuting lower energies, integrating higher, faster vibrating energies and Light and Heart consciousness or awareness. It has to do with your DNA repeatedly mutating/evolving/ascending step-by-step from 3D polarized physical carbon into non-polarized 5D light filled silicon. That would make any being exhausted so give yourself a break and rest as much as you require every day.

On top of all this the world we bore ourselves into is also dying, “falling” apart now and the planetary Collective is shaking in its old boots over all this great and scary change. If you’re sensitive you feel (in different ways) these other people’s great fears, anxiety, and lower energies too. That alone is deeply exhausting, so give yourself a break and rest as much as you require every day.

The repeated cosmic energies and solar flares that carry most of them directly to Earth and all life on Her to further transmute humanity, have and will continue to activate us into higher frequency beings. These vastly higher cosmic and solar energies are directly assisting us to get where we’re going, on time, and that too is profoundly exhausting and often makes you feel sick and in pain. Higher Light coming into contact with lower vibrating anything usually feels unpleasant at best…and miserable at worst. It’s utterly exhausting repeatedly living the Alchemical process of transmuting our personal Lead into higher frequency Gold. Give yourself a break and rest as much and as often as you need each day.

Exhaustion is a normal part of everything you and I, Earth and the solar system and far beyond are and have been doing/living/being/creating. Give yourself a pat on the back and a giant hug and Heart smile…then go rest as much as you need because it’s not finished yet.

Denise Le Fay

July 14, 2009

Copyright © Denise Le Fay and TRANSITIONS 2009-2012. All Rights Reserved. You may copy and redistribute this material so long as you do not alter it in any way and the content remains complete, credit is given to the author, and you include this copyright notice and link. https://deniselefay.wordpress.com/

Being Released & Letting Go

Denise Le Fay 1 Comment

The past 10 days to 2 weeks have been amazingly intense on many different levels and my personal life, physical body, my location here in burning, purging southern California have been reflections of this latest energy shift. It hasn’t been easy or fun, they rarely are, and this ones been huge. Today is the 3rd and final exact conjunction of Pluto with the Galactic Center (GC). This is like plugging in an electrical cord to the wall socket to access the energy. Today the GC will download through Pluto, Lord of The Underworld sitting at 27 degrees Sagittarius, and that current/Light/transformational Energy will literally plug into humanity and Earth. This influence will continue for a few more months, but today it’s exact and downloading into us.

With the wildfires burning So Cal, the eye of the hurricane became much smaller for me. I live in about the only county in So Cal that didn’t burn! These fires (some are still burning) surrounded us here, and when the winds stopped, the smoke came in and stayed. Today is the first day that I can’t smell or see smoke and can safely go outside and breath without a particle or dust mask.

As a sensitive it’s near impossible for me to NOT feel and be aware of the variety of emotional energies other people give off. The trick is to NOT get pulled out of my little eye of the hurricane energetically or emotionally every time I feel these types of things. Easier said than done sometimes and with most of So Cal on fire, people dying, loosing homes and property and beloved possessions for over a week, this has been difficult for all.

But it’s a lesson for me, and for many of you, as to how to maintain energetically and emotionally every time these dramatic dismantlement’s of the old happen. We’ve got to learn how to NOT get sucked back down into it all just because we’re sensitive/psychic/empathic etc., and, it’s in our physical backyards! We’d be no help to anyone if we energetically ‘fell’ every time reality shakes, quakes, burns, floods, changes and falls — and it’s going to be doing this a lot more than it has already.

Usually when we do stay a bit longer in the lower frequency world, the people there don’t want to hear what we have to say or what we believe. So both they and us feel frustrated and highly uncomfortable with each other. At this point it’s a no-win situation for both groups with us trying to remain where we don’t energetically belong any longer. WE have to Let Go some more, and they have to Release US some more.

Another large aspect of this latest shifting, changing, and adapting has to do with certain well-known public male teachers. Some men who have been for years now, lecturing, writing books, having their books turned into movies, teaching and touring about these planetary and human consciousness changes and numerous other things.

It’s wonderful and very helpful that these males (and the many others I’m not familiar with) are doing what they are; helping to awaken more and more of humanity with what they’ve personally experienced and learned. But, because they are males living in a patriarchal world, this can get tricky for them and their loyal following. I’ve watched from a distance over the past five years how some of these male teachers are themselves now having to make these same shifts and changes we have been. This means that many, many, of their loyal fans are fast coming up against some huge changes that I sense many are going to have a very difficult time with.

On the Ascension Path one inevitably reaches that energetic fork in the Road where intellectual belief systems dead-ends, circles round and round endlessly and is a huge trap. The new fork in the Road is The Path of releasing the fixated death grip on the intellect and stepping into the Journey of the High Heart. The Ascension Process naturally leads to this, but many people find it very difficult to move beyond their over developed left brained intellects — the old god of the lower world. Thankfully humanity has things like Pluto conjuncting the Galactic Center to help with this.

This is where many of these male teachers and their fans are now. It will be even harder for many of their fans because they haven’t discovered as yet that there is anything other than their beloved intellects within polarized old physicality. Most of humanity faces repeated phases of individually living and transmuting instead of just debating, pontificating and mentally masturbating over and over endlessly and stroking their own egos.

We need to get out-of-the-way and let them live this as we have. They need to let us go so we can do what we’re learning and getting familiar with at another level. Everyone is currently standing on the correct stair step of the moving evolutionary escalator at the moment, so I suggest we all focus on our current individual parts, jobs and level.

Denise

October 28, 2007

Copyright © Denise Le Fay and TRANSITIONS 2007. All Rights Reserved. You may copy and redistribute this material so long as you do not alter it in any way and the content remains complete, credit is given to the author, and you include this copyright notice and link. https://deniselefay.wordpress.com/