As many of you know, my computer passed away on October 28, 2011 along with the ending of the Mayan calendar—the past 16.4 billion-yearlong Evolutionary Cycle. Somehow seems appropriate that it went to PC heaven on that day yet its sudden death caught me by surprise and sent me into a mild panic and hurried research mode for a new PC with the important 11-11-11 portal right around the corner. I thought the timing of all this sucked of course, plus felt suspicious of other things I hadn’t quite figured out at that point but I pushed on as usual. I’m not saying that pushing was the correct thing for me to do during the mammoth Ending/Beginning transition, but that’s what I did because it felt important to get back online as quickly as I could. As usual, I expected to perceive more about the why of it all and this is still unfolding along with everything else. Due to our crossing over the October 28, 2011 end date, many of us have suddenly found ourselves in an intense new learning curve (and growing energies) for the simple fact that we’re no longer existing or functioning within that old Evolutionary Cycle. And because even Starseeds become creatures of habit, we’ve been using those old tools in this very new place/time/space and discovering that things have indeed changed in very big ways. It’s time to really let go of much more now.
I somehow got myself a new replacement computer during the still strange feeling post October 28, 2011 time space and was able to get back online fairly quickly. The next big energy/reality/consciousness adventure was the approaching 11-11-11 portal which I’d sensed for the past few years was going to be monumentally important within the evolutionary Ascension Process. I and my Mom had planned to listen to Tom Kenyon’s Pituitary Attunement recording between 9–10 PM (PDT) on 11-11-11, mainly because the Hathors feel like ancient buddies and kinsfolk to me. (When I was 7–9 years old, the only way I drew “people” was with triangular shaped heads with unusual dark hair that hung down behind their ears in a strange way. My childhood “people” always looked exactly like ancient Egyptian Hathor, but of course I didn’t make the connection for a few decades!) That was my plan, but then there was reality and it turned out to be different from my plan of course. Another unexpected surprise on another of these important post October 28th days. (Yep there’s a message for all of us in this seeming post October 28th confusion.)
Like many of you reading this, I too expected great things from the 11-11-11 portal, and why not because previous portal days have been very positive and important Stair Steps within this Process. I’m not saying 11-11-11 didn’t live up to its worldwide and multidimensional reputation because it did, I’m just saying that as a Starseed I should have expected the unexpected also. I’m saying that I know better after all I’ve been through in this life, but because I’m so exhausted like the rest of you, I SO want The Battle over… completely, utterly, and permanently over and over NOW. Yeah, well, it is but with some stubborn bits n’ pieces of Dark crap needing to be dealt with and extracted first. Same old story for the Starseeds—aka Higher Energy Embodiers.
11-11-11 DAYTIME BATTLES & TRANSMUTING
I woke up on 11-11-11 ready for some exciting positive changes to unfold throughout the day and evening, but what I got hit with only an hour later was a minor attack from the Dark Ones. Just like my computer dying on October 28th, this 11-11-11 negative tidbit of an Initiation caught me totally off-guard and it shouldn’t have. I was so startled by this sudden and unexpected negative attack being directed at my Mom to get at me on 11-11-11 (this tactic is a common one with the Dark One when they’re trying to derail certain Starseeds from doing important transformational/embodying energy work), that I fell into anger and then mild depression and had myself a short 11-11-11 Pity Party. WTF!?
I haven’t been had like this by the Dark Ones in a good while but here it was and on 11-11-11 no less. I felt emotionally manipulated via the partnership I and my Mom have, and totally derailed by these dark jerks, and yet, there was a very important reason for this attack, perceived or otherwise. I was angry and frustrated but I was also fully conscious of what was happening to my Mom and me and why. After going through these types of negative attacks a few hundred times over my lifetime, I’ve learned that the “Dark” has its purpose too and that it’s wise to shine that Light into one’s own inner Dark corners to see what might still be hiding in there—no matter how small—that’s holding you back from progressing on to the next level and phase of your spiritual Mission Work. In other words, it took a long time but I’ve learned to respect the Dark and what It has forced me to face, do, transmute, and remember. In a polarized world negativity can just as easily be USED to push-off of to propel oneself to where one needs to evolve to.
This tactic or perceived tactic by the Dark Ones told me that the 11-11-11 portal was something powerful and important enough that they felt it necessary to try to prevent as many Starseeds (and no doubt Indigos too) as they could from doing what we’d planned on doing that day. Don’t forget that the 11-11-11 portal and the many world meditations done by Starseeds/Lightworkers/Indigos etc. was the first major global Conscious Co-Creational Group Event we’ve done post October 28, 2011.
In trying to salvage 11-11-11 for myself and my Mom, I told her we both were being attacked and manipulated by the Dark Ones so I was intentionally disengaging and going to my bedroom to get myself back to a better place and override this. However, before the 11-11-11 Party could happen I had to go through the surprise 11-11-11 Dark Battle and Initiation to the next Level Portal first. For me this required I became fully aware of and then consciously transmute one particular past life “victim” wound, resentment, and small fear energies I (obviously) still had that was caused by my and my Mom’s actual physical deaths in that past life.
(In this past life I and my current Mother were both males and skilled warriors. One dreary, soggy, wet afternoon in Europe somewhere the two of us suddenly found ourselves outnumbered by a group of barbarians. We both knew we would die that afternoon and so fought back-to-back against these barbarian warriors until we both were killed by them. My Mom dealt with that battle and our deaths better than I have and our fighting to our deaths together has carried-over into this life, consciousness and timeline as Starseed Warriors of Light yet again, except I had some unresolved “victim” anger and belief that absolutely could not be housed within me on the other side of 11-11-11. This experience reminds me of an old article I wrote called, You Can’t Store That Crap In Here!. You most certainly cannot carry it or anything like it through the 11-11-11 Portal Pillars!)
But before I got to that special transformational point during this 11-11-11 Initiation process, I once again fell into that old familiar emotional and mental quicksand “Victim/Victimizer polarity archetype” as Lisa Renee calls it. Maintaining neutrality while in this unpleasant polarized attack and state was nearly impossible for me until I stopped being angry and shocked by it, relaxed and surrendered into it, went down and honestly saw and felt MY past-life distorted belief (and the trapped or stuck energies from it) connected with my Mom and our deaths. As soon as I did this it was quick and easy to fix, transmute and released it all and move on. Starseeds are Living Alchemists who use our bodies and beings as the sacred laboratory where we carry out our alchemical transmuting and embodying of the New for humanity in the New Cycle. And in the end it doesn’t matter all that much who (Dark Ones) or what (unresolved past life wounds etc.) triggers this Starseed Living Alchemical Embodying Process. As they say…“just do it” because there really is nothing else to do but transmute the lower and embody the higher.
11-11-11 EVENING MEDITATION & PARTY
That evening I listened to Tom Kenyon’s/the Hathors Pituitary Dimensional Attunement seven times and experienced listening to it and counting each time I did and had to hit the replay button, I simultaneously fell asleep and dreamed. Needless to say it was a very weird sensation being both awake and listening and physically doing things to keep listening to the Pituitary Attunement on my stereo player AND be dreaming like I was in a sleep state at the same time. I’ve experienced this a few times over the past five years or so but this was the most intense and highly conscious I’ve been while experiencing it. What I found more interesting was that there was no confusion, no bleed-through of either event or no getting lost or confused within any of it. It seemed perfectly normal that I could be both awake and doing things physically AND in a dream state dreaming at the same time. It was multidimensional multitasking evidently and one of the New abilities growing numbers of us will discover we now have post end of the Mayan calendar/Evolutionary Cycle. One of the 11-11-11 Party favors gained due to my earlier 11-11-11 Battle and Initiation no doubt.
After listening seven times there was that half-hour or so period where we were to keep our focus on our Pituitary area. It was during this part of the Hathors/Tom Kenyon 11-11-11 meditation that I clairvoyantly saw massive Light energies raining down not only on Earth/humanity, but upon the entire Universe, in my limited perception of the “Universe” that is. The point evidently was that the Light energies that the 5–12D Hathor beings (and who knows who else) brought in through the 11-11-11 portal was for the entire Universe and not only Earth and humanity. This helped me put things into perspective a bit better, plus understand why the Dark Ones tried so hard to prevent many Starseeds (in whatever form that took individually) from participating—Consciously Co-Creating—during the 11-11-11 major embodying and imprinting some of the New blueprints or “architecture” within the New Evolutionary Cycle now that we’ve exited the old one.
SOME WONDERFUL LISA RENEE QUOTES
In her November 2011 Through the Wall in Time article, Lisa Renee said many very important things that I’d like to quote and comment on briefly. One of them was what she said about how Starseeds are typically misunderstood within the “Ascension community”. Because I’ve personally experienced it many times from people I thought should have known better but didn’t/don’t, I was glad to hear Lisa mention this added difficulty Starseeds have to deal with on top of everything else! (Every word written in bold was done by me.)
“Many times it is the Ascension community that is the most hostile towards the Starseed who is providing an incredibly large service to the planet – as a Polarity Integrator. This role is highly misunderstood on the planet and the person’s own peers will attack him for his core essence mission…”
Last year I backtracked some links on TRANSITIONS to someone’s Facebook page where I discovered a woman had posted that she “…no longer reads Denise Le Fay’s material because Denise talks too much about Dark beings and negativity but is only projecting her own inner darkness into her writings and blaming negative beings for it all.” I couldn’t believe what I was reading and that some person, some people honestly believe that about me or any other Starseed. I was hurt at first but realized this woman (whoever she was) didn’t have a clue about Starseeds and what we actually do and why we do it.
“This 3D reality is hostile to those who attempt to bring freedom to the planet and its people. Knowing that this planet’s majority of assumed leadership (the controllers) is mentally deranged, is helpful to those who came from other planets to devote themselves to spiritual ascension dynamics. Many of us are newly introduced on this planet to the concept of sociopathic leadership. Fundamentally as a Starseed, comprehension and acceptance of that fact is critical to being effective in this world. One can never expect to be treated fairly, justly or kindly – as that is not what the current external system is founded upon. It is for those reasons that we have incarnated here with a challenging job – one which holds much honor and responsibility…”
“As Starseed Architects of Living Light observe and experience these code reversals, (this happens in physical matter and in the pre-manifested matrices) they are capable of overriding the artificial code to the living code of original creation and intent. This is the process of restoring congruency in the planetary architecture to the Natural Laws of God, the Law of One…”
“So in many cases the Starseed will be exposed to negative polarity systems and “perceived” negative experiences in order to override the timeline of destruction, as well as source the causation in the timeline where the destructive event has applicable relationship to current outcomes. It returns to the Oneness to override the destruction created in polarity.”
When I write about my physical and non-physical negative attacks, battle experiences, Astral kidnappings and other interactions with the Dark Ones, I’m using my personal interactions and experiences with these negatively polarized, Service to Self beings to assist other incarnate Starseeds going through the same Alchemical Ascension transmuting and embodying Process who may not as yet consciously remember that this is what we Volunteered to do now and why. A Group of somebodies (the Starseeds) MUST come into the system of 3D polarized physicality to override, transmute, and finally embody higher energies otherwise the Dark Ones and the lower frequencies, consciousness and reality will never change. Magical thinking or praying and/or envisioning that many of the fluffies and “Ascension Community” does is not what transmutes lower frequencies and embodies higher ones. The Dark Ones have been thrilled that so many people believe this and they’ve used it for decades to prolong their reign and control over humanity and Earth. People like that woman on Facebook will believe whatever she, whatever they all are capable of perceiving, but it does not change the fact that a Group of Starseed Volunteers are the ones doing the multidimensional dirty work that’s allowing the New to even get in and anchor here.
I’ve mentioned before about when I was five years old I had a talk with The Sky (which was higher dimensional Home) and told Them there had been a terrible mistake because I was back down here on Earth again and that the people here are crazy, violent, unstable and untrustworthy and I did NOT want to be here among them again. The Sky responded as It always did and eventually convinced me that there hadn’t been any mistake at all, but that I’d actually Volunteered to come down here to do specific things in this life, body and time for those same crazy and unstable people. This didn’t sooth me much so The Sky talked to me until It convinced me I was protected while among the crazy, violent Earth natives and that I had Them near me constantly to help me with the difficulties and limitations I’d encounter down here.
For far too many years I’ve oftentimes felt guilt over the fact that I’ve had so much intimate face-to-face time with the Dark Ones. Two decades ago I even thought that there might be something in me that was causing me to attract these horrible, negative, evil and dangerous encounters and attacks from the Darkness. The funny thing about this is that every word of that is true, just not in the way it sounds at first. Like I’ve said before, when Light comes into a polarized place that’s Dark, it literally glows in that darkness and is easily seen and automatically attracts the Dark Ones because the Light-bearer has entered what the Dark Ones believe is their territory. It shouldn’t take a lot of brain power to put two-and-two together to realize that it’s the ones carrying the Light that automatically have to deal with repeated attacks and battles with the Dark Ones for the perceived invasion and lifestyle and food source threats we represent to the Dark Ones. But the majority of people—and as Lisa said even the Ascension community—doesn’t know about or understand because they’re submersed in and mind controlled by the Darkness/Dark Ones themselves and have forgotten how to perceive beyond that low frequency range.
“To those few that do embody the ascension experience, it ceases to be theory or philosophy – but an actual state of existence. When we reach the higher state of embodiment of our own inner spirit, we cease to be governed by the lower 3D mental process. This allows the sensory experience to override the ego’s mental perception and we then can allow the acceptance of all that exists in that moment. To arrive at this vantage point, one must be resolved of the authority problem and fearless in being judged or attacked by the external…”
This is one of the things some of us are working on within ourselves now because we’ve exited the Mayan calendar/Evolutionary Cycle/timeline and exist within the growing New Cycle, Earth and timeline. I don’t think enough of us realize yet how much has and will continue to change in us and around us because we’ve completed and exited the old Evolutionary Cycle/Mayan calendar, or as Lisa Renee called it, “The planet’s energetic architecture in time/space has shifted which allows access and exchange into another Universal Gateway since late October.” The rest of 2011 and all of 2012 will help each of us to consciously realize this and much more however.
This line is another of my favorites and long-known truths:
“Your personal and direct relationship with God Source inside you is the only relationship that matters.”
This is what “Soul Mate” has always meant to me. It’s easy thinking and believing that you/me/us are stupid little meaningless specks of silliness; knowing that we are in truth aspects of Source is another story and requires far more responsibility. We’ve also reached this phase of consciously knowing and accepting the greater aspects of our real Selves in this New, higher frequency Cycle.
I’ve waited and hoped someone would go into the deeper levels of knowing about the four Fixed signs of the zodiac—Taurus the Bull or Ox, Leo the Lion, Scorpio the Eagle, and Aquarius the Man or Human—the four faces of God or the “Four Living Creatures” as Lisa called them. I’ve felt them building over the past few years and assumed it was because we’ve entered the Age of Aquarius (one of the Fixed signs. Fixed signs hold things/reality in place), that all four of them would come into play much more consciously for us all. I suspect this is increasing now because we have entered the New Cycle and timeline, hence Lisa’s title for this article; “Through the Wall in Time”, and we need the New to be anchored and held in place…or maybe I’m way off on this one. Time will tell.
“Many of us on the Ascension pathway are attempting to decipher these radio channels coming online as our cellular (re)memories are linking into a relationship with the current station of our identity. Sometimes this “remembering” can be scary to the unprepared body and mind. Sometimes we are not deciphering the message clearly and we become confused in fear. This is part and parcel of the spiritual ascension embodiment process – the synthesis of polarities to allow the integration of higher frequency light to be available to the planet and the human race. The term to describe this transmutation process is called “Polarity Integrator” and many Starseeds have aggressive missions to do just that job while on planet Earth. It is a mission to be honored and respected when we are capable to understand its place of value in the necessity of spiritual ascension embodiment. All things potentially to be manifest in any timeline must be “embodied” in the physical plane of matter. To manifest the Ascension/Incension experience, Starseeds are embodying the process as prototypes to give this planet and the race field access to the instruction set in this density. We are becoming a Stargate of Ascension. Thus, we are collectively the “Avatar of Ascension”.
Because I am one Starseed with this “aggressive mission”, it’s why I titled my book A Lightworker’s Mission: The Journey Through Polarity Resolution. I knew I was (as most are) having to integrate and resolve polarities within myself/ourselves, my/our past-lives in multiple timelines, in our genetic blood lines, in the Earth’s Collective, in the Astral plane and beyond. These are just colorful “new age” type terms unless you’re a Starseed and have lived this Process within your body and being for many years already. If that’s the case then it’s so very much more, and is as Lisa points out, “To those few that do embody the ascension experience, it ceases to be a theory or philosophy – but an actual state of existence.”
There’s more…there’s always more, but this is getting long and I’m exhausted because the past week or so has been INTENSE (what’s new right?) so I’ll end this here. Once again, my deep gratitude to Lisa Renee for her wonderful November 2011 article. I hope she doesn’t mind me quoting a few of her paragraphs to use as inspiration plus a backdrop to my own experiences both recent and lifelong. [See her full article here https://deniselefay.wordpress.com/2011/11/13/november-2011-article-from-lisa-renee/ and/or here http://www.energeticsynthesis.com/ ]
November 17, 2011
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